One thing I have come to understand about people is that they will act the way they like, and bring that same energy to you all the time if you always accept it. As an individual, we all do what we like, we are selfish, not in a bad way — just that we will always do what pleases us where/when we are allowed to.
Have you ever wondered why people make you feel bad? Or make you feel like they can have access to you all the time without considering your feelings?
People will always be people. Until you say otherwise, they will take advantage of your help, your kindness, your pain, your knowledge, or your ignorance. Pretty much, whatever it is they can take advantage of.
There are people who would NEVER respect your boundaries – no matter how much you enforce them (respectfully or disrespectfully) They would never listen to what you have to say, or act accordingly. The problem is not you, it’s them.
People who don’t know how to respect other people’s boundaries lack self-esteem in their lives and will project it on you shamelessly any day, anytime.
There is a reason why boundaries are so important. I noticed that the period when I didn’t have boundaries, didn’t set any boundaries at all, didn’t say what I wanted, or I don’t like – people did not acknowledge me, how to address me, approach me, and things like that. And I always got hurt by people’s action a lot.
Since I started setting boundaries, telling people not to cross a line in a literal way, like don’t call me before 7 am or after 6 pm, don’t give my number to out unless I ask you to, don’t use my things except I ask you to, don’t involve me in any drama, don’t use my name as a false witness, do not talk to me with disrespect, my no is no and there is nothing you will do about it, the list is a lot.
But people will act the way they want to act until you dictate which ones you would not allow, and even the ones you allow–when you will allow them. I have learned the importance of setting boundaries now. I have gained more respect from people, I know better and who to trust, it’s not been strict — its self care.
When you don’t set boundaries, people will do whatever they want with you, and honestly, if you expect them to know — then you don’t know humans. People like to use and cross boundaries they aren’t supposed to.
When you set boundaries, people will stand on business, they will come correct when it comes to you. If not, then deal with it and get those people in line because they don’t deserve you if they don’t respect your boundaries.
Boundaries are so important, in friendships, marriages, relationships, families, at work, at home, every where. You cannot keep compromising your mental or physical health for someone else. You have the right to show and express your feelings, either good or bad. Learn to declare what your boundaries are, and stand on them.
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